Thank you for visiting Baloani, which I hope will prove to be a great point of reference for your personal philosophical
and spiritual journey.
My name is Paul Becque. When I first dated my wife, she called me Beqster, and the name has stuck! Now my friends and work colleagues use it too.
Since I was a child I wanted to know what life is all about. Consequently, I’ve studied many different beliefs and kept an open mind.
Buddhism and Taoism have been very inspirational for me. And, more recently, “The Secret” and our growing knowledge of quantum physics has taken me to an even deeper level of commitment to my discoveries. “Baloani” is simply a video diary of my journey and a reference point for anyone that resonates with my exploration.
Blog week 16 -
By following the chapters of Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” this week I was instructed to take action, to make baby steps in the direction of my dream. In an effort to do that I made a commitment to test drive my dream car, the Porsche Cayenne. Not a big deal, not a huge step, but a move in the right direction. Well I never got there! But only for good reasons.
We know that we can’t justify the payments for a new Porsche Cayenne at the moment, especially when you add the cost of road tax, insurance, running costs and maintenance. Without doubt, the costs are prohibitive. But my wife suggested we visit Car Giant (which boasts that it’s the world’s largest car dealer and has over 5,000 cars on site at any one time).
So we went, and we had a blast! Now you’ve got to consider that Jack Canfield suggests you tag on any wish the caveat “or even better”, and Mike Dooley will tell you to be open to options or “something even better”. So we looked at everything. Porsche. Lotus. Mercedes. BMW. Ranger Rover. Land Rover. Jeep... and a brand that I had never considered, or even thought of... Cadillac!
Oh my goodness! My world has been rocked! There was a beautiful metallic blue, darkened VIP windows Cadillac with only 16,000 miles on the clock and a price tag of £6,500. It couldn’t be right. We wish. It must be a joke, the first 1, or even 2, had fallen off of the screen... this car has got to be at least £16k, if not £26!
We peeked through the windows and could see the mahogany finish on the steering wheel, gear stick, doors and consul. It was gorgeous. We were both in love with it... Well, it wouldn’t be too embarrassing if the guy said that the number had fallen off of the screen, so we went to ask! It hadn’t. Holy moly, it really was £6,500!
We got the keys... we sat in it. We looked for faults. We climbed in the back and pretended to be passengers. Something must be wrong with the car, it was just too good to be true! Let’s test drive it!
The car just got better and better. It drove like a dream. Hey, who needs a Porsche Cayenne when you’ve got a Cadillac with a 2.8L V6 engine that purrs like a pussy cat in idle and growls a panther when ya stick your foot on the gas. I fell deeper in love.
We needed to take a breathe, because I could suddenly see myself driving this car. I could already see myself signing up for the payments and worrying about the expense of running it, later. We went for lunch and jumped on the internet.
Yeah, it was gonna cost an arm and a leg to run. 25 miles per gallon, and petrol in the UK ain’t cheap. After a few searches and data entries, insurance was estimated at £800 and £425 for the road tax. Hmmmm. Possible. But tight. Was this a splurge or a leap into insanity. A little more number crunching and we knew that we could afford this car on finance and still be able to make improvements to our home... but tight.
We decided to go and look at a few other cars before making any decision. There was no rush, we still had a few hours until the store closed. We looked and looked and looked, and always came back to the same thought... just not as sexy as the Cadillac.
So we bought it!
It would be ready to collect by Wednesday.... they wanted to clean it, Scotchguard the leather interior and complete a further 144 point mechanical inspection. I could live with that. We signed the dotted line and headed home. We were both sooooooo excited... in fact, writing this, brings back the same feeling of butterflies in my stomach. An excitement, a thrilled feeling. Like a boy with that latest gadget that all of his mates will want. Damn, damn, damn, this stuff is good. I got a car that I hadn’t even thought of, at a price that is outta this world!
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If the story ended there... I’d be happy. It’s my 45th birthday this week, and I would have considered the car to be a present to myself. But it doesn’t end there...
What a success story... was this the “Law of Attraction” in action? Was this a brilliant piece of magnetism, or simply coincidence? I can’t tell you. But I can share the invigorating journey that we had, I can tell you that it brought to my attention a car that hadn’t even been on the radar a day earlier and it has moved the goal posts completely!
Here’s something really personal that I also want to share. Whilst waiting two days to collect the car, my mind was running wild! I found myself shifting from happiness to concerned, positive to negative, elated to worried. I couldn’t work out what was wrong.
I know that I can make the payments on the car, but I’m concerned about mechanical problems and breakdowns. The nearest dealer is 50 miles away. I’m worried about kids scratching the car, the cost of petrol continuing to go up... What if, what if, what if? Wow. I had no idea that I could be this negative.
I was soooo excited about the car. Yet I was concerned. This is when you need a guru!!! Are these emotions being generated because of old paradigms? Do I have a feeling of being unworthy? Is it an unnecessary splurge (as described in week 14)? Or do I just spend the money and not worry about it... because the “Law of Attraction” will bring me everything I need? Holy moly... do I just go for it, throw caution to the wind or go back to driving my old banger? Ultimately, it has made me question my very trust in the “Law of Attraction”. Do I really believe it? Am I fooling myself? Am I cloaking reality? Should I listen to my gut instincts and back out of this?
I don’t have the answers. I don’t know what this confusion means. Why not? Because I have always followed my instincts, my intuition and generally I come out smelling of roses! But this time it’s a yes I want it, no I don’t want the problems, the headaches... but who’s to say there will be any?
Well, I’d made a decision and I’d signed the papers... so I moved ahead and did some research on the car whilst waiting to collect it. Damn it was sooo sexy. I couldn’t wait to jump in it and drive to a party at the weekend, to celebrate my birthday.
But on the Wednesday I got a call informing me that the car had some technical problems and was going to go to the nearest Cadillac dealer for a further inspection... however, it would be 10 days before they could even look at it.
Fate? My mind generating my desired outcome? Yikes!!! I’ve no idea. But it brought a swift and easy decision to conclusion. I was able to cancel and take the time to rethink.
A week of ups and downs. An
emotional rollercoaster as a dream car came into my life, out of nowhere and unexpectedly. Bringing joy, excitement and a feeling of success to a tumultuous week... which then came crashing down with a feeling of relief. Has the “Law of Attraction” begun to work? I provide no answers!
So now I’ve come to a perfectly good conclusion. I want a Cadillac. But the CLS that I came across was too big. By going for a BLS I can get a smaller engine, which will reduce the costs dramatically and still have the elegance and refinement that I want to enjoy.
Whilst this keeps me happy in my current paradigm and doesn’t go beyond the bounds of my comfort zone, I can’t help feeling that I should’ve gone for it any way and rolled the dice of life... played the game a little riskier.
The great news is... I’m taking action... I’m moving... I’ve taken aim and I’m firing. Next week will be a continuation of this them, which Jack Canfield describes as “Leaning into It”.
Grammy Award-
If your ship doesn’t come in,
swim out and meet it.
Michael Maltese 24 May 2010, 19:15:28
Cadillac & Porsche... You also run with a lightning crowd oh highly creative and inspiring people. The SECRET is known to many, which you take the next step and apply! BRAVO ! !! !!!
Nigel Cottrell 24 May 2010, 20:22:49
reference the car... sounds like you have had an interesting week, with lots of important decisions to make in a very short time (out of the blue and within 2 hours), throw in the fact that these are decisions about a dream and something that you have wanted for such a long time... then the pressure really mounts, especially also when the car your about to sign for isn’t really the one you have talked about and shared your thoughts on... for so long... my guess is that your subconscious was ringing the alarm bells... my advise would be don’t rush any decision, enjoy the experience... but most of all Paul as an outsider looking in... some way, some how, some time... its got to be the Porsche Cayenne for you... then you will really know the answer your looking for buddy
Ruth Yaeck Mcintosh 25 May 2010, 03:13:36
I'm so happy you took the time to test drive an American car! We need all the help we can get here in Detroit. All we ask is that people at least take the time to test drive a Chrysler, GM or Ford. Your blog is awesome, thanks for taking the time to share.
Marelle Smith 25 May 2010, 03:54:24
I think this was a great practice run, now you really know and feeeeeeeeeel the feelings of owning a Cadillac. The real deal is on its way to you cos you know and feel the want.
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