Thank you for visiting Baloani, which I hope will prove to be a great point of reference for your personal philosophical
and spiritual journey.
My name is Paul Becque. When I first dated my wife, she called me Beqster, and the name has stuck! Now my friends and work colleagues use it too.
Since I was a child I wanted to know what life is all about. Consequently, I’ve studied many different beliefs and kept an open mind.
Buddhism and Taoism have been very inspirational for me. And, more recently, “The Secret” and our growing knowledge of quantum physics has taken me to an even deeper level of commitment to my discoveries. “Baloani” is simply a video diary of my journey and a reference point for anyone that resonates with my exploration.
Blog week 22 -
Feedback is a great tool that I have continued to use since I first read Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles” in 2005. It was just timing... I had just begun working on tv in London and was living there alone at the time, in a squalid little flat around the corner from the studio. So I needed books to keep me going, and would take the opportunity of going to Starbucks whenever I could, enjoying the gentle jazz in the background, the awesome smell of coffee, and the positive messages being sent my way via Jack’s book.
Well, it clearly helped... because I passed my probationary period and still work
for the same company today. And of all the tools that I read about in the book, Feedback
and Constant And Never-
Because I worked on cruise ships for 18 years, I am accustomed to being provided with feedback on a regular basis. The passengers are asked to complete a comment for at the end of each cruise and provide their thoughts (via a scoring system and additional notes).
These proved to be frightening at first, but helpful and inspirational on other occasions.
Frightening, because I was terrified of what the passengers thought of my entertainment
program, my team and myself. But with each week it became clear that we were on the
right track. And inspirational, because if enough passengers commented on a particular
area, it meant that we could focus on the issue and come up with ideas on how to
improve, move or if necessary eradicate the issue. It could be anything from a particular
performer, a joke, an activity or even a port-
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We can all do this and it could be on absolutely anything... Driving. Being a Parent. Shopping. Communicating. Work. DIY. Cooking.
Give it a go... try it out this week. The funny thing is... having tried it this week, you can feel yourself working that little bit harder in everything you do. Imagine if you were able to improve in every area of your life just by 1% each week... that’s more than 50% by the end of the year, because of the accumulative effect! Holy mackerel!!!
I think that there’s only one reason you may not try this... fear of the information that you may be provided with. You might not like what you hear. But ya know what, it’s the only way to improve. Think of it as being constructive criticism...
because it is.
Do think about the feedback that
you receive, because it may not
all be good or accurate. Consider
the source, what condition was
the individual that shared with you?
If they were angry, jealous, tired
or had been drinking perhaps they
didn’t say what they meant.
Because this blog is a work-
Progress, I’m going to take the
opportunity to ask for more
feedback at work, just like I did
when I first began five years ago.
I am confident that I’ll be able to
fine tune much of what I do, and
will probably discover lots of bad habits that have been created over the years. And... Oh, oh, oh! Just had an idea...
Why not get your feedback on Baloani®? That would be awesome! Yes, yes, yes... Pleeeeeaaaaaase send me emails via feedback@baloani.com, use the “Share Your Thoughts” form at the end of the page or use the Baloani.com Facebook page or profile. Let me know what you think of the site. How easy is it to navigate? Is it useful? Inspirational? Do you like the links to the Teacher? Resources? Films? Is there something I should add? Send it all!
Who am I around? What are they doing to me?
What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying?
Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking?
And most important, what do they have me becoming?
Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay?
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
And because it’s the start of another month, I have added more authors and books to the “Mentors” and “Resources” tabs. I had considered adding the latest additions to the top of the list, but in the long run it makes more sense to keep the Teachers in an alphabetical listing, and the Resources by their order of monthly recommendation.
This week’s blog
is about feedback and using it to your advantage. Sometimes friends, family, colleagues or customers may provide us with a clue to improvement. But don’t wait for them to provide it. Ask. Ask them how you did, and if it’s not the answer you wanted, find out what you
can do to improve!
With regard to the tv job, I constantly asked the producers about my performance, and how I could improve it. What they liked? Didn’t like? What worked? What didn’t? And for me, it wasn’t painful, because I’d already seen the power of feedback from the cruise ship experience. It works.
But you can relate this technique to absolutely anything. Jack Canfield suggests a ratings score of 10, and then asking your partner how they rated you as a husband/wife during the last week. Does that frighten you?
If the answer is anything but 10, for example if she/he says you scored an 8... the second question has to be...
Truth -
Partner -
Mistakes -
Sword -
I am particularly pleased to be adding Marilyn Tam this month, because I got to meet and work with her aboard the Queen Mary 2 in 2004. She is an amazing lady, and when you read through her biography you’ll realise what an inspiration she is to everyone. Her personal story really makes it clear that we can become anything we dream about, but we need focus and perseverance. Through her work and life experiences she has identified four basic principles that are essential in realizing goals:
Marilyn now resides in Santa Barbara, California and heads her own foundation, the
Us Foundation. She provides talks and coaches business and non-
Ms. Tam also advises that if you need something you don’t already have to reach your goals, go elsewhere for them. Charisma is a typical example Tam provides. “You need it to get ahead in the world,” she says. “And if you don’t have it, acquire it or go hire it!”
Marilyn Tam has always been passionate about what she wants in life. Passion, along with the aforementioned principles and “using what she’s got,” enables her to “get what she wants” out of life. And she wants to show you, “how to use what you’ve got to get what you want.”
Have a brilliant week... and if you get the opportunity... please provide me with feedback on the site using the “Share Your Thoughts” form below. I’m excited to hear from YOU!
Jayne James 06 July 2010, 13:15:35
Thank you for reminding me of positive thoughts and the pics of all these amazing and wonderful human beings.
Alan Roberts 06 July 2010, 18:05:37
Hi Paul, I have so been looking forward to the latest blog, and i am so pleased you have nothing major to report, I dont mean that in a bad way, its just not how life pans out in reality is it? Though progress is the way to go for sure.
I cant see how you could improve on anything re the way you are going about things, but I for one am as excited as you are with it all, you are doing a splendid job and I am in the progress of not taking no for an answer to an issue that I have been dealing with for years, I am taking a big risk in doing so money wise, but I have got to deal with this matter, and of course the outcome will effect my life depending the way it goes, hopefully for the better. but hey I am always optimistic.
One question Paul. Will you ever one day consider being a teacher yourself, and write a book or two? Sorry if I’ve put you on the spot, but you did say ask anything. Take care buddy, Al.
Aldina Faria 06 July 2010, 19:54:32
I agree with you at often there seems that its been a 'quiet' week, but taking the time to write down all our 'weekly wins', you'd be surprise how much you have actually done/achieved toward your goals. Loving your videos...something I want to do as well in the future. Have an awesome week..that pic of the boats makes me want to go on a cruise again. All the best.
Jennifer Hoy St Laurent 06 July 2010, 21:11:44
Fabulous article! Thanks
Marilyn Tam 06 July 2010, 22:44:15
Dear Paul. Thank you! I just read your new blog on your site and was impressed with the effort and thought you place in delivering meaningful messages for your readers, well done!
I was pleased with the care you use to craft your writings so that people at various level of personal growth can benefit, thank you for including me as one of the teachers. It is lovely that you personalize the insights with your own experience, that way people can absorb them so much easier.
Congratulations Paul, I will tell my friends, particularly the ones in the UK about your site and your work.
Thank you again, warmly, Marilyn
Ruth Yaeck Mcintosh 07 July 2010, 15:43:45
I love when you have messy hair. I like the casualness of your blogs. It feels like we are neighbors having a quick chat over coffee. Hope your blogs keep coming, my morning coffee won’t be the same. Ruth.
Tracey Giles 07 July 2010, 21:41:26
Shaun Scott 08 July 2010, 10:51:26
Keep up the great Blog! Cheers, Shaun
Debbie Wells 12 July 2010, 10:21:22
Hi Paul, as you know Iv'e been following your weekly blogs, I think feedback wise
your enthusiastic approach has a sort of a knock-
Acecia Boeckmann 12 July 2010, 12:23:53
The blog looks great!! I am glad I read it because it refreshed my memory from the
success principles :0) thanks for re-
Lori DePoe Dixon 12 July 2010, 13:28:24
Greetings Begster! First off, I love the webpage. I think the blogs are wonderful. They are honest and real. You have a great speaking voice (love the accent lol). You come across as being genuine and likeable. I can see you being up on a stage and talking to hundreds of people at seminars. I really liked the part about if you base your actions on... see what kind of feedback you would get... So true! I am working on putting together my own website. I won't have any video blogs though, but I believe there is a growing movement in the world towards positive conscious living and everyone who contributes, no matter how big or how small, makes a difference! Keep the blogs coming!
Theresa Reel 12 July 2010, 15:53:22
looks good! I bookmarked it so I can come back again :)
Joanna Jennings 12 July 2010, 22:33:25
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Paul. I am feeling so much better and I can actually look forward to many things now :). Hoping you are well and enjoying life to its fullest. I am sure you are... lots of love, jo xxx
Ritu Gulabani 13 July 2010, 8:52:42
Hi Beqster! U r just great, I like everything you do.
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